Wednesday, January 15, 2014

First Morning

I was prepared to do it all perfectly. But, at 4 am, I woke up because I couldn't breathe. So now I'm sitting here, my nose dry but stuffy, my throat sore and itchy and my head all fuzzy. I took my Metformin, later than I wanted to, but I took it. No side effects so far. We'll see how I feel after lunch.

In the past, when I wanted to change my diet, my will power sucked. This time is different. I know that the sooner I fix my eating habits, the sooner I get this medicine into my system, the sooner I get to hear the words I want to hear. The sooner I get to tell my amazing husband, "You're going to be a dad." It helps that Michael wants this as much as I do. He's careful not to say too much, but to say enough to let me know he's still with me. Our dreams are still linked. I think sometimes he worries about wanting a baby too much, that his desire will only make mine worse. But I want a baby for multiple reasons, and one of those reasons is to make my husband a father. I wonder if we're born with that innate desire. Maybe that's what keeps people reproducing.

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